Life with the Colonel
by TheDreamer69
Summary: The American Revolution is over. The British won. Tavington is alive and well in Ohio and he's as bitchy as ever.


Disclaimer: I do not own 'The Patriot' or Col. Tavington (Oh Gawd I wish I did). I do however own the plot and a few of the soldiers who I made up.

A/N: Takes place after the Revolutionary War and I basically rewrote history...the British won. Please don't kill me. Most likely a oneshot but who knows...

**Life With the Colonel**

It was almost sunset as a troop of British Green Dragoons rode through the Ohio countryside. After the recent rebels' surrender, the British had gained a new sense of arrogance. They paraded through every city, every town, and every village with complete authority which they flaunted to any colonial in their path. By no means was this group of soldiers an exception to the new reality of life in the colonies.

The commanding officer put up his hand and his men came to an instant hault behind him. He promptly removed his soldier's cap then pushed his horse forward towards the house that stood before him. The soldiers were then ordered to dismount and he himself jumped off his horse. A cloud of dust came up from the ground as feet hit the dirt road. The haze soon cleared, revealing the angered face of the commanding officer.

Colonel William Tavington looked disdainfully at the two story plantation house that was now his new home.

"_So this is it? For all my hard work and sacrifice I end up with this?" _he drawled, his blue eyes flashing in anger.

"_It's not so bad my Lord. It just needs a bit of fixing up that's all." _said a young Private by the name of John Wilford.

"_Fixing up did you say?" _

Tavington spun around, his eyes widened.

"_Listen here boy! For all that I have done for that fat bastard General Cornwallis; I should be living in a palace not some run down farmhouse in bloody Ohio!" _

"_But sir didn't you ask for Ohio?"_

"_That is beside the point!"_said Tavington through clenched teeth.

Wilford shrugged and turned to his other companion, Major Banneker.

"_Excuse me sir." _said Banneker.

Tavington was now inspecting the rest of the property. The grass was long and in desperate need of a trim. He trudged through the front yard, looking around with a disgusted look on his face while muttering curses under his breath.

"_Um sir?" _

The Colonel didn't turn, but continued to spurt out an endless array of curses.

"_Bloody unbelievable!" _shouted Tavington, oblivious to his troop of men who stood watching him apprehensively.

"_Colonel Tavington, sir?"_

"_Yes God damn it! What is it?"_

Major Banneker walked over to the Colonel.

"_Forgive me sir but we were ordered by the General to return to our post in Columbus after you were settled in."_

"_Yes, Banneker I am aware of that. Now if I may ask you do I look bloody settled in?!"_

"_Ummm…."_

"_Exactly." _drawled Tavington. _"…You will return to Columbus when I say so, is that clear?"_

He was now up in Banneker's face, a clear form of intimidation, and it was working. Everyone feared William Tavington, the butcher.

"_Yes sir." _gulped the major.

"_Good"_

Tavington was now smiling in satisfaction.

He then took one last look at the yard of his new property, grunted as though annoyed, then trudged over towards the front porch. The wooden boards of the porch creaked under the pressure of his shiny black boots. He paced back and forth, stopping only to examine a window, that's frame had pealing white paint.

"_Unbelievable…"_ he muttered.

The front door creaked as he opened it, without even his key. The house must have been abandoned at some point during the war.

_Wonderful…fucking leftovers. _He thought.

After clearing his throat he turned to see most of his men sitting on the ground or walking around aimlessly. He let out a deep breath of agitation then briskly strutted across the lawn.

"_You Swinton! Get up off your fat arse and take a troop into town to get some food."_

The rather chubby, red-headed Private stumbled to attention.

"_Umm…yessss…yes..ssssir!"_

Tavington watched as Swinton and ten other soldiers readied their horses.

"_Oh and Swinton! Do try to leave some leftovers for the rest of us. I know it must be hard to fill that gut of yours but do try to restrain yourself." Boomed Tavington. _

Many of the men started to laugh and poor Swinton tried to put on a brave face with a sad smile.

"_And bring some whiskey! A few barrels, eh?!" Asked Tavington his voice still booming._

The men cheered loudly in response.

"_Yes sir Colonel Tavington."_

The group set off unto the country road towards the nearest town.

Tavington went back up to his new front porch and sat on an old rocking chair. He didn't really care about taking a look at the inside of the house.

_It's probably as shitty as the rest of the place…_he thought.

He looked out at the endless fields that surrounded the property and the far off ridge where the sun was beginning to set. It really was a beautiful country but he was baffled by what he was going to do with himself.

_Why had I ever made that deal with Cornwallis? What was I thinking?! Bloody Ohio?! _

He pondered his reasoning and finally came to the conclusion…

_I must have been drunk…Yes that's right…it was the night of the Charleston Ball and…and…oh dear. I was very drunk wasn't I?_

The memories started to come back to him.

_And then there was that delightful creature Sally…or was it Molly…Dolly perhaps? Had the most ghastly southern drawl but was very amusing none the less._

Tavington grinned at the recollections of that night.

_Or maybe it just seemed like it…I mean I hadn't been getting any for God knows how long…Damn army and their "gentlemen's code" more like wink wink nudge nudge code if you ask me…_

_Damn I hope that chubster, Swinton and the rest of those babbling buffoons hurry up! I could really use some whiskey…or perhaps a shag…both actually. Both would do very nicely. Well… probably won't find any women at all for miles, let alone one that I would actually do in normal circumstances. Damn it! I should have gone to New York or Philadelphia!_

"_Colonel Tavington sir!"_

He lifted his head.

It was Banneker.

"_The men have brought back the food and whiskey."_

Tavington remained smug as he spoke.

"_Very good, carry on."_

_Thank God! Thank God! I really need a drink!_

As you could imagine, Tavington moved with all haste towards the barrels of whiskey. He had considered bringing one up with him to the house but he thought that would be bad form, a sign of weakness.

_Weakness? Ha! I could take down six straight and not feel a thing! Well most of the time…_

He had a few rounds…well quite more than a few… then made his way up the stairs of his new house. Thankfully there was a bed in one of the many bedrooms.

_Oh yes finally! A real bed! Not a makeshift gathering of old smelly blankets on the hard cold earth…_

He flopped on the bed, not even bothering to remove his Green Dragoons uniform.

For a while he lay flat on his back looking up at the ceiling, thinking of what he was going to do with his new life in Ohio.

_Well first I'll have to fix up this rat whole a bit…Hmm not looking forward to that…Then I'll have to make a name for myself in these parts, start molding an infamous reputation…Then I'll have to make some "acquaintances". These Ohio women can't be all bad. Wait have I actually seen one? Oh yes there was that one fat one with the mustache that was selling rotten corn on the road…Not a pretty sight. I sure hope they're not all like that._

His blue eyes slowly began to close as he drifted into a deep sleep. Tomorrow was a new day and William James Tavington of the Green Dragoons, was ready for anything…

Almost anything…

**FIN**


End file.
